dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
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I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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