he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
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She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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