Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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