this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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