She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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