Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize