I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize