Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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