but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize