yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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