i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize