i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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