so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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