matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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