I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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