I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize