guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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