We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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