I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize