I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize