Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize