just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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