Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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