no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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