You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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