Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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