come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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