just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize