I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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