I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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