:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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