Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize