and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Someone signed my nipple.
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