so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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