You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize