I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize