I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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