Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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