dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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