I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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