P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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