I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize