it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize