now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize