Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize