Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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