You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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