did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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