She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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