I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize